Difference between Surrendering and Submitting
It all begins inside us, in a beautiful dance between our inner masculine and feminine. In tantra, the masculine is the consciousness and the feminine the energy. Both are different expressions of the Spirit!
The energy is the energy of the Spirit and the consciousness is the consciousness of It.
The best inner couple is when the energy can follow consciousness, and the consciousness knows which is the best expression of the energy!
For example, imagine a river; the water can symbolize energy, and the banks the consciousness.
Another example is when you dive deep inside, with your attention inwards, and you find sadness in your heart. The sadness is the energy and the part that dove inside is your consciousness.
These two can have a beautiful relationship and form a perfect dance or fight and play the game of dominance and submission.
In the above example, when the consciousness comes across the sadness, it has two options: to suppress it in the heart or guide it to a path of expression. That expression could be the act of crying.
The first example leads our inner woman to suppression; the second to surrender to the direction of consciousness.
Other expressions of our inner Feminine and Masculine
The masculine is also the direction, the structure, the strategy and the determination. The feminine is also our connection to the body through our senses, emotions, capacity to let go, and our need to become one with the other.
When these two internal energies are clean from distortions, our inner woman loves to let the inner man guide her, and he loves guiding her to the best path for her, which is always “The path of the Spirit”!
In a few words, our inner woman loves surrendering to our inner man because she can totally trust his guidance. She can trust his guidance because it comes directly from the Spirit! This is the most important secret! The inner woman loves surrendering, relaxing and following the inner man when he is connected to the Divinity.
She is the divine energy flowing inside us and everywhere around, and He is the vehicle that can give direction to this divine energy.
If the inner couple has an unhealthy relationship, the person lives in an internal dictatorship with the dominator, the inner man and the subordinate, the inner woman.
For example, a self-demanding, perfectionist and judgemental inner man cannot lead his inner woman where the Spirit wants; in this case, she cannot relax and trust to surrender because she is already submitted under his authority.
A relationship of dominance/submission always has side effects…
I will share here two examples of these side effects:
A constantly thinking person with many rigid beliefs who lives his life in a very structured and almost “perfect” order submits his inner woman because he almost blocks his energy. In this case, usually, the inner woman (energy) will finally explode through a sickness.
A person who has developed a strong control system based on fear and his inner man is constantly alert does not give space to his inner woman to relax or even enjoy. In this example, the inner woman might find moments to express herself through different addictions such as food, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.
How are all these expressed externally to our relationships?
Starting from the point that there is nothing outside without reflecting our inner world, I would say that whatever we have inside it is projected out with our partners.
If you are a woman with a healthy inner man who can direct you according to your Spirit, you will attract the same man externally, and you will be delighted to follow him because you can trust his direction!
If you are a man who can feel your energy (body, emotions, sensations, etc.) and sense the best path to express it, then you will externally manifest a woman who will yearn to surrender to your direction.
My personal feeling of these two:
The healthy relationship of my inner yin-yang is like dancing tango with a man who is connected to the Spirit, and he can move and direct me in dance according to the Spirit’s will. This dance feels like dancing in paradise!
The unhealthy relationship feels like dancing with a man not connected to the Spirit but his Ego, and he takes me on a journey of self-pleasure and self show-off!
In the first case, I can easily surrender to the dance; in the second, I have two options, submit and look forward to the end of the dance, or interrupt, politely, the journey and avoid any submission!
The best way I could help you to take a glimpse of this dance is through my project TantrcTango.